The Blind Runaway
by JackieStarSister
Summary: A few songfics about Toph leaving behind her home and family. Chapter 1: "Speak for Myself" by Aly & A.J. Chapter 2: "She's Leaving Home" by The Beatles. Please review! *Cover art is "Avatar: The Runaway" by finni on DeviantArt*
1. Speak for Myself

_Published November 12, 2011_

Song: "Speak for Myself" by Aly & A.J.

_Do you see me  
><em>_Do you care  
><em>_You talk about me  
><em>_Like I'm not there  
><em>_Don't get a word in  
><em>_When you're around  
><em>_I bet you don't know  
><em>_What I'm about_

It seemed to Toph that her parents were really the blind ones.

Toph felt bad for people who could see, and judged others by their appearances. So what if she was small and had gray-green eyes incapable of sight? Looks could be deceiving.

Sometimes she was annoyed at her parents' misapprehension. Other times she felt sorry for them.

Apparently they cared enough to meet with her teacher. But they didn't want to discuss her progress or achievements; they just wanted to set limits.

"I'm pleased to hear that Toph's private lessons are going well, but I want to be sure that she's not trying anything too dangerous."

"Absolutely not," Master Yu answered. "I'm keeping her at the beginner's level. Basic forms and breathing exercises only."

"Very good," Lao approved.

They talked about her as though she wasn't there. No one asked her for her opinion of her lessons or of herself.

Toph felt like she was invisible. She wondered, slightly amused, if invisibility could come with blindness.

_'Cause I will, I will  
><em>_Speak for myself  
><em>_What you see  
><em>_Isn't all I am  
><em>_I need a place to stand  
><em>_I will, I will speak for myself  
><em>_There's so much you're missing  
><em>_If you cared you'd listen_

"Avatar Aang, it's an honor to have you visit us," Poppy said warmly.

"In your opinion, how much longer do you think the war will last?" Lao asked.

"I'd like to defeat the Fire Lord by the end of summer, but I can't do that without finding an earthbending teacher first."

"Well, Master Yu is the finest teacher in the land. He's been teaching Toph since she was little."

"Then she must be a great earthbender … probably good enough to teach someone else."

Toph knew better than to speak up; but instead, she put her foot on the ground and earthbended a shock wave at Aang, who leapt up in surprise. "Ow!"

Toph smiled and took a bite. _That_ was how she made herself heard.

The adults didn't seem to notice. "Toph is still learning the basics," Yu said.

"Yes, and sadly because of her blindness, I don't think she will ever become a true master," Lao said.

There was a very short pause.

"Oh, I'm sure she's better than you think she is," Aang said loftily.

Great, even the Avatar was talking for her. Toph didn't even care that what he was saying was actually what she wanted to say; what annoyed her was that he was the one saying it, instead of her.

_You suffocate me  
><em>_You drown me out  
><em>_I'm tired of waiting  
><em>_Without a doubt  
><em>_I feel I'm fading  
><em>_I flicker out  
><em>_My heart is screaming  
><em>_Without a sound_

Toph was stubborn, but she didn't want to be a hypocrite. Which was what she was doing, more or less. She hadn't given the Avatar a chance to actually talk to her, to explain what he needed.

She didn't want to be like her parents, and stop listening when she didn't want to hear what was being said. So in the evening she decided to talk to him, and give him a chance.

"I'm sorry about dinner," she told him as they walked through the garden. "Just, when you were talking like that … I couldn't say anything. Maybe you're used to speaking your mind, but I'm not. Even if I tried … they just wouldn't listen to me."

"How do you know?" Aang asked curiously. "Have you ever tried?"

The question made Toph pause. Maybe when she was little she had tried to ask to go outside or try new things; but the answer was always the same, so eventually she stopped. Thinking back, she couldn't remember actually trying to tell her parents that their perception of her was wrong.

Come to think of it, she had never given them reason to think otherwise.

Then maybe … it wasn't entirely their fault that they didn't understand her. Maybe she should have made a greater effort to make herself heard.

But what could she do about that now? She could hardly walk up to them and say, "You've known me my whole life, but you don't know who I really am. I'm not a porcelain doll. I'm strong, and I'm a fighter. Oh, and by the way, I've been crawling through tunnels with badgermoles and sneaking off to fight in Earth Rumbles with really buff guys who would scare you half to death."

Strange, facing earthbending masters seemed so much easier than standing up to her parents.

_'Cause I will, I will  
><em>_Speak for myself  
><em>_What you see  
><em>_Isn't all I am  
><em>_I need a place to stand  
><em>_I will, I will speak for myself  
><em>_There's so much you're missing  
><em>_If you cared you'd listen_

"Toph there's too many of them. We need an earthbender. We need you!"

As usual, her father spoke for her before she could respond. He sounded angry and indignant. "My daughter is _blind._ She is blind and tiny and helpless and – fragile. She cannot help you."

Toph pulled her hand away. "Yes," she said defiantly, "I can."

She marched out into the arena, and earthbended a wall to prevent the kidnappers from making off with the Avatar. "Let him go. I beat you all before, and I'll do it again!"

"The Boulder takes issue with that comment."

The Hippo threw the metal cage across the arena. Sokka and Katara moved up to help Toph, but Toph held out her arms, blocking them. "Wait. They're mine." She had to do this herself, without help, in order to prove herself to her parents and teachers.

She smiled as she fought with her old opponents, not because it was fun – although it was – but because she felt proud. But not proud in her usual show-off way. Fighting in the arena for everyone – including her teacher and parents – to see, Toph felt she was finally making a statement, a declaration of who she was and who she wanted to be. _See __what __I __can __do!_ she thought childishly.

_I'm not sorry for who I am  
><em>_Take it or leave it  
><em>_It's my time to take a stand  
><em>_Throw it or keep it  
><em>_Know that I don't need to understand  
><em>_Won't say it again_

Toph had been thinking about what to say during the trip home.

She tried not to be confrontational or defiant. She tried to be mature and respectful, so they would take her seriously. And most of all, she tried to be honest.

First, she told them the truth. About everything. How she had advanced in earthbending by learning from the badgermoles. How she had been running away and participating in Earth Rumbles for months.

Her parents were silent the whole time. Toph wasn't sure if they were more shocked or angry or disappointed. It made her a little nervous, but it also gave her a chance to finally speak for herself.

When she had finished her story, Toph took a deep breath, and everything she had been keeping inside her came pouring out.

"Dad, I know it's hard for you to see me this way, but the obedient little helpless blind girl that you think I am just isn't me. I love fighting. I love being an earthbender. And I'm really, really good at it. I know I've kept my life secret from you, but you were keeping me secret from the whole world. I know you were doing it to protect me, and I appreciate that. But I'm twelve years old, and I've never had a real friend. So … anyway, now that you see who I really am, I hope it doesn't change the way you feel about me."

There. At that moment Toph felt strangely satisfied. Because of Aang, she had finally been able to speak for herself. She would have to thank him later.

_'Cause I will, I will  
><em>_Speak for myself  
><em>_What you see  
><em>_Isn't all I am  
><em>_I need a place to stand  
><em>_I will, you know I will  
><em>_I will speak for myself  
><em>_There's so much you're missing  
><em>_If you cared you'd listen  
><em>_If you cared you'd listen  
><em>_I will, I will  
><em>_Speak for myself_


	2. She's Leaving Home

_Published December 7, 2011. Happy holidays!_

Song: "She's Leaving Home" by The Beatles

* * *

><p>Toph hadn't cried in years; but standing before her parents, feeling the vibrations as the Avatar and his friends left, Toph shed a single tear. She cried because she knew, at that moment, that she couldn't have both groups in her life. She had to choose – her family, or her friends.<p>

It wasn't a hard decision to make. Toph had run away from home before, just never for an extended period of time. Sometimes she had actually thought about leaving for good; but then, where would she go? She had had no where else to go. Until now.

_Wednesday morning at five o'clock_

_as the day begins_

_Silently closing her bedroom door_

_Leaving the note that she hoped would say more_

_She goes downstairs to the kitchen_

_clutching her handkerchief_

_Quietly turning the back door key_

_Stepping outside she is free_

It wasn't very hard to pack. She thought about essentials: a blanket, headbands, a change of clothes – not those fancy dresses or pajamas, but the clothes she wore to the Earth Rumbles. She included a paper with the seal of the Bei Fong family – her nobility might come in handy sometime.

Toph supposed she would need money at some point. Her parents had never given her any kind of allowance – after all, where would she spend it? She considered simply taking some of her parents' money, but that could be seen as stealing, even though she was their heir. In the end Toph settled for taking some of her jewelry and other expensive items that she could sell or trade later on.

_She (we gave her most of our lives)_

_is leaving (sacrificed most of our lives)_

_home (we gave her everything money could buy)_

_She's leaving home after living alone for_

_so many years (bye bye)_

For a moment Toph stood still. If she had been able to see, she would have looked around at her room one last time. Instead, she sniffed the perfumed air, ran her hands over the silk bedspread and gilded chair, felt the vibrations of servants and guards, curled her toes into the plush carpet.

She was not sorry to leave this place behind. There was nothing for her here. She felt no regret; and yet, she did feel some trepidation.

Toph shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts. If she started feeling all guilty now, she wouldn't be able to leave. She couldn't miss this chance.

_I __tried, __didn't __I?_ She had tried to be reasonable with her parents. But they had refused to listen. If they hadn't vowed to keep her guarded at all times, she wouldn't have had to run away; she could have stayed and trained the Avatar here in Gaoling. But her parents had tried to be extreme; so she was being forced to do the same.

That's what she told herself.

_Father snores as his wife gets into her dressing gown_

_Picks up the letter that's lying there_

_Standing alone at the top of the stairs_

_She breaks down and cries to her husband_

_Daddy our baby's gone_

_Why would she treat us so thoughtlessly_

_How could she do this to me_

Toph wished she could write. Then she could have left a letter for her parents. Both before and after she left, she thought of fragments of such a letter.

_I'll __make __you __proud._ She didn't want her parents to be ashamed of her. Sometimes she wondered if that had been another reason they kept her a secret from the world. Would they rather pretend they didn't have any children than admit they had a blind daughter? And now – were they ashamed that she had gone behind their backs so often, and was leaving home now?

_Forgive __me_. Not because she was sorry for what she was doing, but because she didn't want them to hold a grudge against her.

_I __love __you_. When was the last time she had told her parents that? Maybe at the last New Year, when everyone was happy and thinking about the good times they had that past year, and looking to the coming year with hope.

_She (We never thought of ourselves)_

_is leaving (never a thought for ourselves)_

_home (we struggled hard all our lives to get by)_

_She's leaving home after living alone for_

_so many years (bye bye)_

"Why?" That was the question Poppy kept repeating, even when she had stopped weeping. "Why?"

Did Toph care so little about them that she would leave them? Was her life really that unbearable? What had they done wrong? Had they failed so miserably as parents that they had driven their only child to run away from home?

Lao refused to believe that she had left on her own. "The Avatar kidnapped her. That's what happened."

That's what he told Master Yu and Xin Fu.

That's what he tried to convince himself.

_Friday morning at nine o'clock she is far away_

_Waiting to keep the appointment she made_

_Meeting a man from the motor trade_

Toph would never forget her first time riding Appa. It was strange, having no contact with the earth. Instead of footsteps, she felt the bison's heartbeat, the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed.

When Appa took off, Toph's first reaction was fear – the first time she had ever truly experienced fear. She gripped the edge of the saddle, her startled cry lost in the rush of air as they ascended. And for the first time, she had some concept of sky and infinity. It was frightening.

But leaving the earth, feeling the wind on her face, was kind of exhilarating. Almost … fun, actually.

_It's __too __late __to __turn __back __now,_ she thought, smiling to herself as she leaned on the edge of the saddle.

She had done it.

She was free.

She could be herself now. No more secrets. She could have fun. She wouldn't be locked up at home anymore; she could see the was with people who recognized her and valued her for who she was. Now she could find her destiny.

_She (what did we do that was wrong)_

_is having (we didn't know it was wrong)_

_fun (fun is the one thing that money can't buy)_

_Something inside that was always denied for_

_so many years (bye bye)_

_She's leaving home (bye bye)_


End file.
